Sunday, May 30

I'm getting rid of a bunch of books since I'm going to be a transient for probably a year at least. Going through all them and deciding whether to keep them or not, I keep having to ask, Do I want to read this because I think it's important, or because it will be fun? I keep thinking of how after I turned in a really boring story, the director of my writing program said, "Remember we are entertainers." I'm going to try to listen to that passionate voice inside me that says Yes! More! to books, to experience that's fun and enriching. I've made myself somewhat wooden, I think, by reading a bunch of philosophy and stuff. When I'm in the right situation, I can joke a lot, but when I'm by myself writing, or in a new situation and I'm nervous, I lapse into boringness.

So I'm jettisoning all my boring stuff, but it's really hard. It's like pushing away part of myself, or an old friend.


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