totally absurd inventions

What do you do when you're fed up with your patented remote-control horse pooping all over the place? Get it a patented horse diaper! The website Totally Absurd Patents trolls through the U.S. patent registers and digs out the wackiest ones.

For the world of sports, there's the patented roller cane, for those who want to rollerskate, but aren't sure enough on their feet. Then, for those who can't go fast enough, there's the patented Skateboard Pirate with a board-mounted wind-catching sail. (Patented back in 1978, but somehow it never caught on.)

Then there's the creepy Anti-Eating Mouth Cage, which puts your food hole behind bars. Reminds me of Ben Marcus's novel Notable American Women, where the Silentists fit the narrator with a Language Diaper to control the power of speech.

But, really, the Remote-Control Horse was the most prescient. As I blogged about last week, someone has gone and made robot camel jockeys. Don't tell the owner of the horse patent! He's gonna be p-o'ed.